Top Questions to Ask Your Fertility Specialist Before Starting IVF

You’ve finally decided to consider IVF. That alone probably took a lot of time, thought, and maybe a few emotional rollercoasters.

And now that you're ready to meet with a fertility specialist, you're wondering: what do I even ask?

Totally normal. This isn’t something we’re taught in school or casually chat about over coffee. IVF is a big decision. It’s deeply personal, financially significant, and emotionally intense.

So before you jump into appointments and paperwork, it helps to go in prepared with the right questions.

Let’s walk through the most important questions you should ask your fertility doctor before starting IVF. Think of this as your personal checklist so you don’t walk out of that clinic thinking, “I wish I had asked that.”

Top 10 Questions to Ask Your Fertility Specialist Before Starting IVF

1. What’s our specific fertility diagnosis and how does that impact our IVF chances?

This might sound obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people go through IVF without fully understanding why they’re doing it in the first place. Is it unexplained infertility? Endometriosis? Male factor? Diminished ovarian reserve?

Ask your doctor to explain your diagnosis in simple terms. And more importantly, ask how it influences your odds of success. Not all diagnoses respond to IVF in the same way, so this sets the stage for understanding your unique journey.

2. What are our chances of success based on our age and situation?

Let’s be real. IVF is expensive and emotionally demanding. So you want to know what you’re walking into. A 32-year-old with regular cycles and no major complications may have very different success rates compared to someone who’s 41 and has had several failed IUI cycles.

Ask for your clinic’s live birth rate for someone in your age and health bracket. Be specific, don’t just settle for national averages. This gives you a realistic picture of what to expect.

3. How many IVF cycles should we realistically prepare for?

We often hear success stories of people getting pregnant on their first try. And while that does happen, it's not always the norm. Many people go through two or even three cycles before achieving a pregnancy.

So it’s smart to ask your doctor how many cycles they typically recommend before considering a change in treatment or taking a break. This helps you emotionally and financially plan ahead, rather than treating each cycle like a do-or-die mission.

4. Can you walk us through the full IVF process from start to finish?

You’ll want a clear, step-by-step breakdown. Not the glossy brochure version, an honest, realistic timeline.

From ovarian stimulation and egg retrieval to embryo creation, genetic testing (if applicable), and transfer, each stage has its own set of appointments, injections, risks, and emotions.

Also ask how long it usually takes from the first injection to the embryo transfer. Some clinics offer a fresh transfer; others freeze embryos and transfer them later.

Either way, it's better to know what’s coming before you're in the thick of it.

5. What are the potential risks and side effects of the medications?

Injectable hormones can come with side effects, some manageable, others more serious. Bloating, mood swings, headaches, and ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS) are just a few things that might come up.

Ask your doctor what symptoms are common, what’s considered an emergency, and how closely you'll be monitored throughout the cycle. It’s your body, you have every right to understand what it’s about to go through.

6. How do you decide how many embryos to transfer?

You might think, “Why not just transfer two and double the odds?” But it's not that simple. Transferring more than one embryo can increase the chance of twins or triplets, which also increases the risk of complications during pregnancy.

Your doctor should walk you through their embryo transfer strategy, including whether they recommend a single embryo transfer (SET), especially if you’re younger or have high-quality embryos.

7. What is your clinic’s policy on embryo freezing and storage?

Not every embryo will be transferred right away. In many cases, you’ll end up freezing some for future use. Ask how long the clinic stores embryos, what the yearly storage fee is, and what happens if you want to transfer your embryos to another facility down the line.

You’ll also want to know: if you change your mind about using your frozen embryos in the future, what are your options? Can you donate them to research or another family? Can you discard them? These may seem like far-off decisions, but they’re important to consider early on.

8. How much will the entire process cost and what exactly is included?

Let’s talk money. IVF can be pricey, and costs can vary a lot between clinics. Some offer all-inclusive packages, while others bill for each step separately: monitoring, medications, retrieval, anesthesia, lab work, embryo storage… the list goes on.

Ask for a full, itemized breakdown. Also ask what might be considered extra, like genetic testing or additional freezing fees. If you’re using insurance, ask the clinic staff to check what’s covered and what’s not. You’ll thank yourself later for sorting this out upfront.

9. What kind of emotional support or counseling do you offer?

IVF is not just a physical process, it takes a mental and emotional toll, too. Many clinics have counselors, therapists, or support groups available. Some even offer wellness services like acupuncture or nutrition support.

Ask what resources are available if you're feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just need someone to talk to who gets it. You’re not supposed to do this alone.

10. What happens if this cycle fails? What’s Plan B?

This one’s tough but necessary. You want to know how your doctor approaches a failed cycle. Will they recommend trying again right away? Will they want to adjust your medication protocol? Will they consider donor eggs, sperm, or embryos if necessary?

Having this conversation early doesn’t mean you’re being pessimistic. It means you’re being prepared. And having a Plan B can make the whole process feel a little less daunting.

Final Thoughts

Asking the right questions doesn't make you a “difficult” patient, it makes you an informed one. IVF is too important, too personal, and too expensive to go into it blind. You deserve to feel confident, supported, and in control of your journey.

So bring a notebook. Write down your questions. Ask your doctor to explain things in plain language. And don’t be afraid to follow up if something doesn’t sit right or make sense.

This is your body.

Your family. Your future.

Ask away, you’re allowed.